My Heritage 

My heritage is a complex mosaic woven from diverse cultural threads, each being the journeys of my ancestors who came together to create a unique identity. On my father's side, I carry the legacy of Javanese descent, with roots tracing back to Indonesia. My father, who was born in Singapore in 1930, embodies the traditions and values of his Javanese heritage, seamlessly integrating them with our Islamic faith. This connection to our Muslim roots has profoundly influenced our family’s values, instilling in us a sense of community, compassion, and respect for others. 

On my mother’s side, the story is equally compelling. Born in Singapore in 1933, her lineage reflects a beautiful blend of Indian and Chinese cultures. Her father immigrated from India, bringing with him vibrant customs and rich culinary traditions, while her mother hailed from China, adding another layer of depth to our family’s cultural landscape. Together, they embraced Islam, fostering an environment where faith and culture coexisted harmoniously. 

Growing up in Singapore, I have experienced the beauty of integration within a multicultural society. Our Muslim community is lively and active, yet we have always kept close relationships with our non-Muslim neighbours. This integration is a hallmark of my upbringing, where shared celebrations, mutual respect, and understanding across diverse backgrounds have enriched my life.  

This blend of Javanese, Indian, and Chinese ancestry, combined with our Islamic identity, not only informs my personal beliefs but also shapes my worldview. It instills in me a profound appreciation for multiculturalism and the importance of building bridges between communities. As I navigate my journey, I celebrate this rich heritage, recognising it as both a foundation for my identity and a source of strength that encourages me to embrace the diversity of the world around me.

My Parents: A Legacy of Resilience 

In 1933, my mother, Fatimah Binte Pakir Mydin, was born in Singapore, a British colony that faced significant challenges. Her exact date of birth is unknown due to less strict registration requirements. Her father immigrated from India before the Second World War, making a name for himself as a professional chef who cooked for large functions held by wealthy families. Notably, he even prepared meals for the Japanese army during their occupation of Singapore. He was in his 40s when he married my grandmother, Asiah Binte Abdullah. He was a widower with four children from an earlier marriage. 

My grandmother's journey to Singapore was remarkable. Brought over from China by her uncle at the age of 10, she was given away to a wealthy Indian Muslim family during a thriving period of human trade. The patriarch of this “adopted” family was a friend of my grandfather, Pakir Mydin, who later matched my grandmother, Asiah, to him when she was about 20 years old. Together, they were blessed with eight children, with my mother being the second of the siblings. 

Growing up amidst the economic hardship of the 1930s and the trauma of war, my mother faced significant barriers to education. Financial difficulties meant that she and her sisters could not attend school, while only her eldest and youngest brothers received any formal education.  

Despite not having a formal education, my mother developed into an independent and resourceful person. In her married life, she devoted herself to raising her six children with love and care, supporting my father both emotionally and financially. She was an exceptional cook, using her skills to provide added family income by offering cooking services to others. 

Patience and humility defined my mother’s character. She was loved by many—her children, siblings, relatives, and friends. She will always be remembered for her quiet strength and kindness. Rarely did she argue; instead, she often kept silent, even when she felt wronged. I admire her steadfastness and quiet resilience in the face of life’s challenges. My love for her runs deep, and her example of grace and strength is still inspiring me every day. 

My father, Sukardi Bin Sulaiman, was born and raised in Singapore, embodying resilience and adaptability in a land of diverse cultures. His father, Sulaiman bin Munasil, was born in Java and immigrated to Singapore in his youth, seeking new opportunities amidst the challenges of colonial life. Unfortunately, I did not have the chance to know my grandfathers personally, as both passed away when my parents were young. 

On my father's side, my grandmother was born in Singapore and was of Javanese descent. She grew up immersed in Javanese culture, speaking the language fluently and keeping strong cultural traditions. After the demise of her first husband, she remarried Sariman Bin Tamiti, who was a close friend of her late husband, further weaving her life into the fabric of our community’s shared history. 

My father attended Kota Raja Malay School from 1937 to 1943 but did not continue his formal studies beyond that. The economic struggles, social unrest, and war trauma of their time shaped the experiences of both my parents. These circumstances greatly impacted their education, with many of their peers, like them, unable to pursue learning beyond the basic level. This backdrop of limited opportunities highlights the resilience and strength they showed in providing for our family and preserving our cultural heritage. 

In his younger days, my father began his career as a postal worker and later transitioned to working as a personal chauffeur. This role allowed him to drive luxury cars, a privilege he enjoyed. I fondly remember how much he loved taking us for drives, especially during Eid festivals, ensuring we visited relatives and kept close ties with his siblings and elders. Those journeys were filled with warmth and created nostalgic memories that I will always cherish. 

My parents' unintentional neglect of our education, despite their love for us, ultimately placed us at a disadvantage in our later lives. Many of my siblings did not complete primary school, and I was the only one to pursue secondary education. I believe their social circles and the many challenges they faced in life influenced their limited focus on formal schooling. While they wished for a brighter future for their children, they lacked models to follow and guidance on how to achieve it. Their experiences and circumstances shaped their perspective, with survival and stability taking precedence over educational ambitions. Although they worked tirelessly to support us, their efforts were mainly directed toward meeting our daily needs rather than emphasising the importance of formal education, which affected our opportunities in adulthood.  

Reflecting on my parents' lives, I see two individuals deeply committed to their family, whose love and care for us were unwavering, even if their parenting approaches were unconventional. Their legacy is rooted in the lessons learnt from both their strengths and their imperfections. The love they poured into our family, combined with the challenges we faced, shaped my understanding of what it means to be resilient, caring, and dedicated—values I strive to emulate. 

Their lives exemplified resilience, warmth, and genuine love. They stayed calm and strong during difficult times, always putting our well-being first, and they left a lasting impression on me. As I reflect on their journey, I am grateful for the qualities I have learnt from them: the importance of hard work, generosity, and keeping a positive attitude regardless of circumstances. Their example has shown me the power of family bonds and created a legacy of love and perseverance that still motivates me every day.